Remaining Calm While the World is in Chaos

            This year has truly hit us all with some unexpected chaos. On top of the personal day-to-day experiences we have, as a collective we have experienced celebrity deaths, pre-elections, government decisions that impact your life, the Coronavirus, and so much more. The chaos can sometimes make you feel like the resolutions and joy you felt entering into the new year was long ago. You may feel like this year was worse than 2019 or for some you may feel it is better; either way you feel something. There are a lot of us that are living daily in fear, panic, and anxiety. We don’t even know when it is a good time to go to the store anymore because, a lot of people fear they will be without, so they bulk buy. When we are in a state of fear, we are unable to have logical thinking, and we act out of fight or flight response. 

The truth is, we are currently in a state of global crisis! 

Although, the world may be shutting down, that doesn’t mean you have to as well. 

              The reality of most situations is that there is only so much of it that is truly in our control and much more that is out of our control. That can be really scary to come to grips with. There is hope though, because although you may not have all control, you do have power. You have the power to choose how you respond. You get to choose if to live in a state of peace or panic. You get to choose how much news you listen to daily. You get to choose what you consume on social media. You get to choose if you will get angry when you notice the store is out of toilet paper. 

                 One thing that usually happens when the world is in chaos around you, is that you can loose your footing. You begin to drift away with anxious thoughts. You are no longer grounded. Hold on though, there is a gift that most of us have access too (I say most because I am aware some people may have compromises due to health difficulties). That gift is something we do daily on our own; we just don’t pay much attention to it or provide enough gratitude. We often go about our day actually not thinking much of it because, it happens automatically. Keep reading to find out what that gift is.

I would like to offer you one suggestion on how to remain calm when the world is in chaos. 

Use your breath as an anchor!

Yes, breathing is a gift that you were born with, that if utilized to its fullest potential has the ability to calm your nervous system. Help yourself remain grounded by taking deep breaths. Breathing deeply causes you to slow down and reorient yourself. You can think more clearly and react differently. The best part is that it doesn’t cost you a thing. Can somebody say “FREE SELF-CARE!”. Give yourself the opportunity to just be for a moment! There is a lot changing day-by-day, but you don’t have to get swept up in the chaos. Acknowledge all that is going on, ground yourself, and go forth from there. 

Leave me a comment below and let me know if this was easy to do, what made it difficult, and if it made a difference for you. We can survive this!

Psalms 91

Always Live Lovely,

                          Chetina 

Helpful Resources:

For a technique on how to overcome anxiety… read this blog post here.

Considering going to a therapist…read this blog here.

For more information about finding a therapist in your area refer to the resource page https://alwayslivelovely.com/resources/ .

Written : March 15, 2020

***DISCLAIMER***

Although I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), the contents on this blog are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the specialized training and judgment of a health care or mental health professional. There is no Therapist-Client relationship created by accessing the information on this blog. Always seek the help of a physician or qualified mental health professional if you have any questions regarding a medical or mental health condition. Always Live Lovely is not held responsible for the use of the information provided. Reliance on any of the information provided by this blog only is solely at your own risk. Please see Health Disclaimer for further information alwayslivelovely.com/health-disclaimer/ .

How to Actually Accomplish your New Year Goals

The New Year is coming and I am sure most of you are excited about the reflection and goal setting that you are currently partaking in. You are probably thinking about the boss moves you are going to make, getting that body right, breaking generational curses, and much more. When we set new goals we feel on top of the world and ready to do anything! Our motivation is on 100 and we say “this is my year”. Let me tell you now though, this post is not for the one that knows they are going to be “all the way up” all year. This post is for someone who sets goals and doesn’t quite finish them. For the person who starts out strong then looks around and wonders where December came from. The one who is trying to become a whole new person and sets 10 plus goals. To the one that gets overwhelmed, overthinks, or anxious about their own goals…THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!

            If you are anything like me, making new goals fills your spirit up with sunshine and possibility; on the flip side there is so much possibility you end up with a page full of goals. A new decade is coming up and through my journey of reflection I realized the last thing I want to do at the end of it, is look back and feel like I am exactly where I was in certain areas years ago. As I began to look at my system of how I choose my goals, I realized there is nothing wrong with desiring growth; but as with everything it is “not what you do, but how you do it”. 

            Society teaches us that we have to rush, set deadlines, compare ourselves, or we will get left behind. I am here to tell you the lie detector determined “THAT WAS A LIE”! The only person you need to compare yourself to is the you of yesterday. Contrary to popular belief, surprise surprise, you will feel less anxious not living on a timeline.  So here are a few tips on how to make your goals more manageable so that you accomplish more.

  • Chunk them down into categories:

Pick categories that are important to you to focus on this year. One approach may be mind, body, soul and another may be family, career, and finances. Mix and match how you so please.

  • Choose 1 to 3 major goals per category:

As previously stated, we sometimes get carried away because we want to be the best we can be. Know that is okay to take it one step at a time. By doing this you are likely to accomplish more, rather than making a million changes at one. Choose 1 to 3 main goals per category and try working towards 1 in each category before moving to the next. If you have more than 3 categories I would suggest picking 1 main goal per category. You can always add another when you are done with that one.

  • Utilize vision boards: 

You have to see it to believe it right?! Vision boards come in handy to help you see your goals and serve as a reminder of what your life will look like or consist of. Put it in a space where you can look at it daily. 

  • Write it down and Speak it daily:

There is power in the tongue, do you hear me?! You have the ability to speak abundance, growth, and positivity over your life. Write it down and make it plain. Take the extra step to speak the change, business, money, love, etc. you seek in your life. There will come a time when you feel discouraged, but have faith, and keep using your power to speak against those thoughts. 

  • Give yourself grace:

Rome wasn’t buit in a day. Time is not guaranteed, but I am sure you would rather complete one goal, than have 5 unfinished ones because you got overwhelmed. Work at each goal until you feel it is concrete or you are satisfied before moving to the other one. If it takes longer to accomplish a goal than expected that is okay. Most times we are our own worst critics. Life is not a sprint, but a marathon. Don’t tire yourself out by utilizing all of your energy in the first quarter. Pace yourself and you will get there. 

My biggest hope for you is that at the end of your life, not just the end of the New Year, you can look back and feel that you were the person you were meant to be. That you are proud of yourself and that you accomplished what you set out to do. There is no need to rush through your goals or hit them all in one round. Life is all about growing and learning, therefore you will always find a way to create a new goal. As long as you are making progress each day that is what truly matters.

Always Live Lovely,

                         Chetina 

Helpful Resources:

Starting a new job this year…read this blog post here.

For a technique on how to overcome anxiety read this blog post here.

For more information about finding a therapist in your area refer to the resource page https://alwayslivelovely.com/resources/ .

Written : December 28, 2019

***DISCLAIMER***

Although I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), the contents on this blog are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the specialized training and judgment of a health care or mental health professional. There is no Therapist-Client relationship created by accessing the information on this blog. Always seek the help of a physician or qualified mental health professional if you have any questions regarding a medical or mental health condition. Always Live Lovely is not held responsible for the use of the information provided. Reliance on any of the information provided by this blog only is solely at your own risk. Please see Health Disclaimer for further information alwayslivelovely.com/health-disclaimer/ .

Event Announcement: I will be speaking at CoCo Coalition’s Black and Healthy Conference on September 22, 2018

I am so excited to announce that I will be speaking at my very first conference as a mental health panelist in the Bay Area September 22, 2018!!!

I truly enjoy being able to connect with my community and help provide the space for individuals to thrive and elevate to live a lovely life.

The Black and Healthy Conference: Nurture the Black Woman is a six hour, 9am-3:30pm, event focused on nurturing the mental, holistic, and reproductive health of Black women. The event will consist of meditation, brunch, workshops, panels, networking, and more. I will be speaking on the “Dismantling Stigmas Around Mental Health” panel. It is important to have safe spaces, where we can all come together, connect, and heal.

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CoCo Coalition is a Black owned non-profit organization based in Oakland, California that focuses on creating a variety of opportunities for Black girls and women to grow, thrive, and shine.  Check out their website here.

Purchase your ticket today by clicking on the link below:

https://www.cococoalition.org/2018-conference

Use the discount code: cocopanel for 20% your purchase.

You can also read my full bio on their website. Check it out!

I can’t wait to see you there!

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Always Live Lovely,

                                    Chetina

***DISCLAIMER***

Although I am a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and registered associate professional clinical counselor, the contents on this blog are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the specialized training and judgment of a health care or mental health professional. There is no Therapist-Client relationship created by accessing the information on this blog. Always seek the help of a physician or qualified mental health professional if you have any questions regarding a medical or mental health condition. Always Live Lovely is not held responsible for the use of the information provided. Reliance on any of the information provided by this blog only is solely at your own risk. Please see Health Disclaimer for further information alwayslivelovely.com/health-disclaimer/ .