Having boundaries are hard!
Setting boundaries are hard!
Shoot, thinking about boundaries are hard!
Yes, I am a therapist, but no I am not an expert on boundaries. I can help you effectively set them, but also I can be honest that it takes a lot of energy and dedication.
When you choose to set boundaries, things do not magically fall into place. You don’t tell someone to not do something, then expect them to respect it, and move on. Most times you will constantly have to remind others about the boundaries you are setting.
You have to get yourself in alignment to ensure that you are not being passive-aggressive, but confident in your needs. You must identify a bigger goal that you have to serve as your why for choosing this boundary in the first place.
Setting a boundary comes with moving different.
How can you expect someone else to treat you different, if you move the same.
Basically what I am tell you is what I have learned setting my own boundaries as a therapist is that not only does boundaries need to be set for others around you, but also for yourself.
You are the only one that can ensure that your boundary is being respected, but you have to hold yourself accountable to change you habits/actions as well to get real results.
Are you ready for that?
Everything is not always the blame game, when the thumb is pointing back at you as well.
I always encourage people to be honest with themselves first.
The truth is when you begin to set your boundary, you are going to get a lot of push back from the people you are setting them with. Why? It will no longer benefit them. If something doesn’t benefit you anymore, you might be upset too!
Once you are challenged, you must be confident within yourself of your ability or ability to try and build your own tolerance needed to hold to that boundary. To do something new.
Once you are truly ready to push yourself to do that, then you can effectively set boundaries.
Always Live Lovely,
Chetina
Helpful Resources:
To listen to the podcast click here; for video click here.
Learn how to be honest about your feelings here.
For more information about finding a therapist in your area refer to the resource page http://alwayslivelovely.com/resources/ .
Written : February 1, 2022
***DISCLAIMER***
Although I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), the contents on this blog are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the specialized training and judgment of a health care or mental health professional. There is no Therapist-Client relationship created by accessing the information on this blog. Always seek the help of a physician or qualified mental health professional if you have any questions regarding a medical or mental health condition. Always Live Lovely is not held responsible for the use of the information provided. Reliance on any of the information provided by this blog only is solely at your own risk. Please see Health Disclaimer for further information alwayslivelovely.com/health-disclaimer/ .
