Be Honest about your Feelings

Typically when we come into contact with someone in person, text, etc. we ask the question, “How are you?”. Majority of the time we give a programmed answer, “Fine”, “I’m good”, “I’m blessed”, and so forth. Are you really though?! Most of us grew up under the impression to not tell the whole world your business. This has its benefits, but it also has its downfall. Sure, everything will seem okay, but you will continue to walk around with the burden of what is truly going on. This is the price that is paid when you are not honest. Honesty doesn’t mean you have to tell every detail of what is going on, but you deserve to be present and honest with your feelings in that moment. It allows you to acknowledge your truth and begin to release.

I want to encourage you to practice tuning in with yourself each day to identify how you are truly feeling because, maybe you are unsure. You can do this by:

  1. Quieting down for a moment. Centering yourself.
  2. Allowing your feelings to float to the surface.
  3. Name them.
  4. Acknowledge that they are there.
  5. Be okay with still not knowing, if that is what comes up.
  6. Don’t act out of those feelings, but rather observe them and release.

You can release by doing a deep breathing activity and with each exhale, release the emotion visually and physically (with practice this gets easier).

Being honest with someone requires vulnerability. Who wants to be vulnerable?! I am sure no hands went up; you probably want to run the other direction. The next time someone asks you “How are you doing?”, maybe start with “I have been better”, “I am sad”, “I am great”, “I am free”, and so forth. You have nothing to prove to anyone, so why not walk in freedom!

One thing that is very important to me is breaking the barriers that make mental health difficult for people to talk about, prioritize, and acknowledge. In doing so I wanted to provide a vulnerable truth of my own to show it is okay to own that truth. To read my vulnerable post head over to Instagram and follow while you are there @alwayslivelovely.


One thing is for certain, I have come to go on my own healing journey because, I can only help someone go down the road I too have. We may not experience the exact same thing, or maybe we have, but the emotions feel the same. I take being a guiding light and a healer seriously. My life informs my work. I know what it is like to sit across from a therapist. I know what it is like to feel broken. Most importantly I know what it is like to feel whole. To feel freedom. To feel healed. Just because I am a therapist doesn’t mean I am immune to mental health experiences. What it means is I have sat on both sides of the table, have the knowledge, and the skills to help you guide your way through and choose to live lovely. 

Always Live Lovely,

                          Chetina

Helpful Resources:

Need hope during the current state of the world…read this blog here.

Considering going to a therapist…read this blog here.

Written : September 1, 2020

***DISCLAIMER***

Although I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), the contents on this blog are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the specialized training and judgment of a health care or mental health professional. There is no Therapist-Client relationship created by accessing the information on this blog. Always seek the help of a physician or qualified mental health professional if you have any questions regarding a medical or mental health condition. Always Live Lovely is not held responsible for the use of the information provided. Reliance on any of the information provided by this blog only is solely at your own risk. Please see Health Disclaimer for further information alwayslivelovely.com/health-disclaimer/ .

How to Actually Accomplish your New Year Goals

The New Year is coming and I am sure most of you are excited about the reflection and goal setting that you are currently partaking in. You are probably thinking about the boss moves you are going to make, getting that body right, breaking generational curses, and much more. When we set new goals we feel on top of the world and ready to do anything! Our motivation is on 100 and we say “this is my year”. Let me tell you now though, this post is not for the one that knows they are going to be “all the way up” all year. This post is for someone who sets goals and doesn’t quite finish them. For the person who starts out strong then looks around and wonders where December came from. The one who is trying to become a whole new person and sets 10 plus goals. To the one that gets overwhelmed, overthinks, or anxious about their own goals…THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!

            If you are anything like me, making new goals fills your spirit up with sunshine and possibility; on the flip side there is so much possibility you end up with a page full of goals. A new decade is coming up and through my journey of reflection I realized the last thing I want to do at the end of it, is look back and feel like I am exactly where I was in certain areas years ago. As I began to look at my system of how I choose my goals, I realized there is nothing wrong with desiring growth; but as with everything it is “not what you do, but how you do it”. 

            Society teaches us that we have to rush, set deadlines, compare ourselves, or we will get left behind. I am here to tell you the lie detector determined “THAT WAS A LIE”! The only person you need to compare yourself to is the you of yesterday. Contrary to popular belief, surprise surprise, you will feel less anxious not living on a timeline.  So here are a few tips on how to make your goals more manageable so that you accomplish more.

  • Chunk them down into categories:

Pick categories that are important to you to focus on this year. One approach may be mind, body, soul and another may be family, career, and finances. Mix and match how you so please.

  • Choose 1 to 3 major goals per category:

As previously stated, we sometimes get carried away because we want to be the best we can be. Know that is okay to take it one step at a time. By doing this you are likely to accomplish more, rather than making a million changes at one. Choose 1 to 3 main goals per category and try working towards 1 in each category before moving to the next. If you have more than 3 categories I would suggest picking 1 main goal per category. You can always add another when you are done with that one.

  • Utilize vision boards: 

You have to see it to believe it right?! Vision boards come in handy to help you see your goals and serve as a reminder of what your life will look like or consist of. Put it in a space where you can look at it daily. 

  • Write it down and Speak it daily:

There is power in the tongue, do you hear me?! You have the ability to speak abundance, growth, and positivity over your life. Write it down and make it plain. Take the extra step to speak the change, business, money, love, etc. you seek in your life. There will come a time when you feel discouraged, but have faith, and keep using your power to speak against those thoughts. 

  • Give yourself grace:

Rome wasn’t buit in a day. Time is not guaranteed, but I am sure you would rather complete one goal, than have 5 unfinished ones because you got overwhelmed. Work at each goal until you feel it is concrete or you are satisfied before moving to the other one. If it takes longer to accomplish a goal than expected that is okay. Most times we are our own worst critics. Life is not a sprint, but a marathon. Don’t tire yourself out by utilizing all of your energy in the first quarter. Pace yourself and you will get there. 

My biggest hope for you is that at the end of your life, not just the end of the New Year, you can look back and feel that you were the person you were meant to be. That you are proud of yourself and that you accomplished what you set out to do. There is no need to rush through your goals or hit them all in one round. Life is all about growing and learning, therefore you will always find a way to create a new goal. As long as you are making progress each day that is what truly matters.

Always Live Lovely,

                         Chetina 

Helpful Resources:

Starting a new job this year…read this blog post here.

For a technique on how to overcome anxiety read this blog post here.

For more information about finding a therapist in your area refer to the resource page https://alwayslivelovely.com/resources/ .

Written : December 28, 2019

***DISCLAIMER***

Although I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), the contents on this blog are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the specialized training and judgment of a health care or mental health professional. There is no Therapist-Client relationship created by accessing the information on this blog. Always seek the help of a physician or qualified mental health professional if you have any questions regarding a medical or mental health condition. Always Live Lovely is not held responsible for the use of the information provided. Reliance on any of the information provided by this blog only is solely at your own risk. Please see Health Disclaimer for further information alwayslivelovely.com/health-disclaimer/ .

What Visiting the Museum of Ice Cream Reminded Me

Picture this…it’s the weekend!

You rush to the living room with your favorite bowl of cereal to watch your morning cartoons.

Do you remember how that felt?

How about going outside to play with your friends, racing bikes, hopscotch, double- dutch, tag, you name it?

Do you remember that?

Okay what about when you would get rewarded by going to Chuck E. Cheese?

Do you remember how it felt when playing was one of the most important things to you?

When did you begin to forget that?

Take a moment and think about that…I’ll wait!

I recently had the opportunity to visit the Museum of Ice Cream in San Francisco.  I had heard about this exhibit since last year, seeing multiple celebrities post pictures with life size gummy bears and swinging on bananas. I thought to myself, “I don’t know where this is located, but I have got to be there”. It was super hard to get tickets, as every time I looked the event was sold out. Until one day something magical happened and they extended the exhibit to include more dates. I quickly purchased tickets and at this point I was filled with joy.

You see, we all have an inner kid that still really likes to play. That inner kid often gets forgotten about because of all of the responsibilities that come with #adulting. One thing I like to do is keep my imagination and kid-like energy alive, because it is good for my soul and makes me feel forever young. In all honesty, I had no clue what I was about to get myself into, I just knew I was going to have some BOMB dot COM pictures when it was all said and done. What I didn’t know was I was in for so much more. Below I will share with you what visiting the Museum of Ice Cream reminded me:

  1. Never forget what it feels like to play.
  2. It’s okay to get excited about “child-like” activities.
  3. Don’t loose your imagination.
  4. Don’t make excuses for why you can’t play.

Let me explain! While I was at the Museum of Ice Cream I allowed myself to let free because, I never want to forget what it feels like to play. It is not as if we no longer play as young adults, but we surely don’t play enough. I am sure some of you still play video games, have a game night, go to the basketball courts, etc. Can you remember the last time you had a pillow fight, blew bubbles, put together legos, swung on a swing, played dress up, tag, etc? I am sure you don’t do those things on the regular because, you never feel like you have enough time. Better yet some of these things probably sound silly to do at your age. You may work a job, go to college, be in grad school, have a side business, have children, you name it. You are trying to build, I get it, but we often forget that we don’t have to be serious or “act like an adult” 24/7.

It is okay to get excited about doing “child like” activities no matter what age you are. Of course, I was super excited to consume all of the free treats along the way that went with each theme. I definitely felt like a kid in a candy shop or the kid that got too hyped and ate too many sweets leading to a stomachache by the end…YOLO!

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Now if you haven’t visited this exhibit, I must warn you there are a few spoilers coming up.

You good? I still got your attention? Okay, here we go!

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There was a room, one of my favorite rooms with the gummy bears, where you really had to tap into your imagination and make animal sounds in order to enter the room. I thought to myself “okay now ya’ll had my attention when you wanted me to name my favorite animal, but now you want me to make animal sounds extremely loud too..ummm how about no”. To push past the awkwardness I shyly engaged because, I was destined to take that epic picture you see above with my favorite life sized candy. You see sometimes playing requires us to tap into our imagination and return to doing things that we once easily did as a child. As we grow older not only do we forget how to play, but we also tend to loose our imagination. We forget our original dreams sometimes. We forget to imagine the best version of ourselves. We stop daydreaming. Everything becomes focused on being “back to reality”. You have to promise yourself to never stop having an imagination because, it is a gift that once brought you so much joy and can serve a purpose today.

MOI_3.jpgNow let’s fast forward a little to the sprinkle poll, yes THE SPRINKLE POOL!!! I had already made up my mind that I wasn’t getting in because I didn’t feel like taking off my shoes. The employee wasted no time busting me out and stating that the shoes I had on weren’t even tied and to stop making excuses. I reluctantly was convinced to get into the pool. The moment I got in and sunk a few inches, pure joy came over me. I looked all around, laughed, and figured, “hey why not”! I took plenty of pictures, had sprinkles thrown on me, played with the beach ball, and even danced a little. It was the initial “leap” into the pool that I took that caught me by surprise. Sometimes the things we are most reluctant to do can be the best experiences for us. Sure I could have watched from the sidelines, but there is nothing like getting in on the action. Don’t miss out on getting in on the action due to making excuses. That goes for every area in your life!

I hope this post inspired you to go out and Live Lovely by choosing an activity that causes you to simply play. I would like to hear how it goes. I know you’re probably wondering, “okay, so where are the REST of the epic pictures?”. Don’t worry I wasn’t going to leave ya’ll hanging.

Below are a few more photos from my visit, enjoy!

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If you would like to see additional photos visit my Instagram account here.

You didn’t think I would put them all on the blog and not leave some special ones for the IG did you?! Follow my account while you are there to see other ways that I am #livinlovely. I can’t motivate you all to have a Always Live Lovely mindset and live this lifestyle as young adults, if I don’t show you how I do so myself. You feel me?

Link to the Museum of Ice Cream Exhibit here.

Always Live Lovely,

                                             Chetina

Written: June 25, 2018

***DISCLAIMER***

Although I am a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and registered associate professional clinical counselor, the contents on this blog are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the specialized training and judgment of a health care or mental health professional. There is no Therapist-Client relationship created by accessing the information on this blog. Always seek the help of a physician or qualified mental health professional if you have any questions regarding a medical or mental health condition. Always Live Lovely is not held responsible for the use of the information provided. Reliance on any of the information provided by this blog only is solely at your own risk. Please see Health Disclaimer for further information alwayslivelovely.com/health-disclaimer/ .